I am in deep sorrow as I stare at the last petal that fell on the ground. That last petal reminds me of her and the many memories that we have shared with each other. I must say that I, still, can’t recover from losing her. My mind is being occupied by questions, which lead to my confusion. I am so confused right now. Yes, I am very confused.
When shall I begin rebuilding a life that says nothing about you? Where shall I start this quest of healing a heart that still longs for you? How shall I end the feeling of deprivation for my self every time I’m missing you? Where shall I start? And where shall I end?
These are questions that I need to answer for my own and for my own alone. It is such a melancholy for me to respond to questions that linger within my mind while untangling strange emotions that have remained within my heart. My entire being has been disturbed by her nothingness. Oh yes, too much of her nothingness.
I need to say goodbye, but still hoping to say hello. I want to forget her death and try to remember her fruitful life as it went. I want to have clarity and yet, all I got is confusion; confusion for my entirety.
What life shall I look forward to when part of this life has been taken away from me? What future shall I see when my entire vision has been buried six feet under me? What love shall I take when my heart has been taken away from me? What tomorrow shall I seek when my past is still haunting me?
An All Soul's Day Special