Friday, September 08, 2017

Blind Spot

     Darkness... the only thing I see since the day you left me. Such a cruel fate came by, kissed me, and changed everything I've known for regarding life. It was such a life-changing experience, which required losing someone like you. 

     You were my light back then. Your glow guided my path in trekking the future I desire. But that future became vague upon losing you. That accident consumed every unit of your inner light leaving me with complete darkness, which made me stop from having a bright future with you. 

     Right there and then, darkness occupied my entire being. It surrounded me, embraced me, and imprisoned me. No more clear path to take for this poor dreamer. And the saddest part is, I remained where you left me - hanging and can't move even a slight inch.

     Blindness is all I have now. How foolish destiny was in putting me in such a situation where vision and ambition are nonexistent. I can't recognize the face of hope anymore. It feels like I'm part of this earthly dimension that there's only "I" in everything. Only me can phathom what needs to be understood and what needs to be done. No more us. Just me.

     You are just a memory now living inside this confused mind. I can only see your visual imprints running in loop inside this head. It made me believe that you're alive, but I know deep inside my heart that you no longer exist in this dying world. No more you. No more us.

     Where should I go now? Living in this dire world with no direction isn't a sure path. I'm not aware if I'm heading forward or the other way around. It feels like I'm also running in loop just like the way you do inside my mind. 

     How can I move on now? Living inside this cycle of darkness stagnates me. I need my guiding light at this point. I need you. My directionless path would have complete meaning if you're here beside me. You would easily pick me up every time I drop myself and ready to give up. Only if there is [still] you.

     No more journey to start nor journey to end. This journey is only worth waiting until everything ends. This life is such a mess. Only I alone can make things best. But not for long for I [too] want my own rest.
Image source: https://www.associationcovenantpeople.org/2010/02/part-3-not-everyones-blind/

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