Sadness... I found myself trapped in this kind of emotion. I felt so helpless as if my heart is being chained with metallic thorns while my whole body is being imprisoned. I felt like I can't escape this kind of life sentence. Yes, the penalty is lifetime and it seems like this kind of penalty is breaking my heart piece by piece until it becomes inexistent.
How can I be productive with this kind of situation? How can I forget the feeling of being rejected? And how on earth will I be able to move on from that tremendous love failure?
It's just so degrading how this life sentence appeared. This doesn't only break my heart, but my whole being. I'm very weak right now... very helpless and hellishly suffering. The ache made me totally numb, but the feeling that my memory produced still made me feel pain. And I can't live like this.
It's almost midnight and my heart started bleeding emotions again while my eyes started its routinely devotion. I wish I could scream as loud as I can just to release this pain. But then, words of sorrow won't even come out. What's wrong with me?
Silent wishes visited my consciousness: If only I didn't get to know love; if only my heart was already numb; if only I never get the chance to know her; and if only those silent wishes did happen, then I’ll never feel how it is like being rejected.
I'll be like this until the sun breaks dawn. Days, nights, and midnights... all I do was suffer. And all I could do was wish for a different ending. Sigh! This is such an impossible wish. All that I really need right now is to move on... and someday, I will. But not until my heart is like this – imprisoned, helpless, and still breaking.